If your inner system could speak about the trauma of narcissistic abuse ,do you know what it would be
You may be feeling shame and vulnerability right now with how you are behaving, but the parts that are showing up are all protector parts working FOR you
Anger When I'm not seen or heard, my anger part shows up to try and get the other person to be nice so I can soothe my inner wounds. It is the voice for me when my inner child is feeling scared and unsafe
Emotional eating When the narcissist is abusing me and making me feel worthless, the emotional eating protector part will come up so you eat salty or sweet foods to comfort you and distract you in that moment.
Dissociation When the narcissist tries to manipulate and control me, my inner child feels unloved so my dissociation part steps in to numb me out so I don't feel so much emotional pain
Anxiety if I'm worried about any potential pain that could happen to me or the narcissist is spreading lies about me, the anxiety part shows up to be my internal alarm system to keep me vigilant so I'm ready for when they do.
Procrastination when I know I should be doing something like dating or building a business, my procrastination part shows up to stop me from doing anything because there could be pain if I met someone or became visible so the part tries to keep me small and invisible.
All these protector parts are ALL there with a positive and loving intention for me albeit destructive as it keeps me stuck.
You don't have any bad parts, the protector parts show up because our nervous system is stuck based on interpretations from our past experiences so the pain we felt as a child about ourselves becomes our version of danger so our inner system is actually working super hard to minimise and distract us away from that pain and doing a great job at the moment as your nervous system thinks you are in LESS pain when a part shows up rather than sitting in the inner child pain.
With Love
Arputha Jayanthi
Counseling Psychologist
"Empowering Journey, Illuminating paths"
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